Saturday late morning, and I am trying to catch up with some serious philosophical notation of Jack McKinney’s last book. He died in 1966, and his book was published by his lover-partner-wife in 1971. We were aged 5 years, and 10 years, respectively in that time of life.


I cannot work any longer. I have chill online radio on, and, as it usually does, it takes me back to happier and yet sadder days. We first heard chill radio on one of our last wedding anniversaries, in some years drifting back. I cannot remember the year, but I think it was the first year after the terrible prognosis. I cannot remember the name of the retreat or where it was exactly located. Was it Maryvale or Maryville? I cannot remember. What I remember will full emotions is the music. I’m now listening to the music, and realise it must have been the Tycho’s full album ‘Dive’ which was broadcast on that digital radio set above the fire place. Digital radios were new to us then. It may have not been the whole album, but I now realise that it was Tycho’s music and it expressed well the ethos of ‘chill radio’. It took us to our lonely-but-embracing place together, on that Saturday evening, out in the bush, in a heritage cottage, in front of a fire.


We had the passionate love-making, and my male mind will never forget and the desire swells.


However, it was the fulfilment, you sitting in the lounge chair, and I sitting at your feet in a mindless embrace.  We were in our place, in some kind of nirvana death, so sad because we both knew that we would be a loss to each other, one day, and we were, in that timeless moment, in the only life we could really have – drifting, as just beings inside the music.


Now, I cannot stop listening, as tears swell up in my eyes, and my heart is breaking again. You are not here. And you will never be.


It has been well over two years. And the music still lovingly haunts me. As soon as I hear it, I am back there in your embrace.


Tycho – Dive {Full Album}

00:00 : A Walk 05:16 : Hours 11:04 : Daydream 16:35 : Dive 24:55 : Coastal Brake 30:32 : Ascension 34:54 : Melanine 37:48 : Adrift 43:47 : Epigram 46:20 : Elegy

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Neville Buch (Pronounced Book) Ph.D. is a certified member of the Professional Historians Association (Queensland). Since 2010 he has operated a sole trade business in history consultancy. He was a Q ANZAC 100 Fellow 2014-2015 at the State Library of Queensland. Dr Buch was the PHA (Qld) e-Bulletin, the monthly state association’s electronic publication, and was a member of its Management Committee. He is the Managing Director of the Brisbane Southside History Network.

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