Him Who Weeps
Abstract
This essay explores the intersecting histories of personal grief and scholarly synthesis, centred on Dr. Neville Buch’s experience of losing his wife, Ruth, to glioblastoma. The recent news of Professor Richard Scolyer’s death from the same aggressive, incurable stage 4 brain cancer serves as a catalyst for reflecting on a decade of “missing Ruth” and the “crucible of care” that redefined Dr. Buch’s life. Utilizing the Management Institute for Contributory Economy (MICE) framework, the essay argues that personal loss is not a static event but a dynamic site for “Philosophy in Practice”. By examining the dialectic between the “currents of death” and the pursuit of Aristotelian flourishing, the analysis demonstrates how concepts like “Thinking as Caring” (panser) function as an intellectual immune system, allowing the individual to remain the proactive author of their narrative even when trapped in the “half-life” of mourning.
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The Persistence of Memory: Missing Ruth in the Shadow of Scolyer
The Glioblastoma Connection: A Shared Path of Defiance
The news of Professor Richard Scolyer’s passing at age 59 brought a global spotlight to the exceptionally aggressive nature of glioblastoma. Scolyer, a world-renowned pathologist, defied his initial prognosis to live for three years, advancing world-first experimental treatments. For Dr. Neville Buch, this news resonates with a deep, personal history: the seven-year journey (2009–2016) he shared with his wife, Ruth, who succumbed to the same disease. While Scolyer’s struggle inspired millions and raised awareness for brain cancer research, Dr. Buch’s history with the disease was one of quiet, persistent care—a transition from high-level university research to the “crucible of care” that left him in a state of professional marginalization and persistent poverty.
The “Crucible of Care” and the Malady of Regret
In his personal reflections, documented in “The Posts of Death,” Dr. Buch characterizes the period following Ruth’s death as a “half-life”, feeling “stuck in the birthing canal”. He expresses a profound sense of regret, noting that during her dying, he felt “distant” and became “too busy” as a way of protecting himself from the reality of her impending non-existence. This experience of regret is framed as a natural, albeit painful, cycle of the human species. He writes of the desire to have “dropped everything” for her in the dying process, illustrating the tension between the “who” (the human person) and the “what” (the technical and administrative demands of life).
Missing Ruth: A Decade of Ghostly Presence
Even a decade after Ruth’s death, Dr. Buch finds himself in a “memorial dream state,” where Ruth appears not with the disabilities of glioblastoma, but in strange, nostalgic representations of their childhood surroundings. He observes that what remains of ‘Ruth’ are the emotions and thoughts—the ghosts of feelings and the pondering of others. This persistent absence leads to a recurring teleological question: “Is my life over?”. This query is not a literal wish for death but a reflection on whether the “success of life’s project” can still be achieved after the collapse of one’s primary social and emotional anchor.
Philosophical Therapeutics and “Thinking as Caring”
To navigate this regression into grief, Dr. Buch utilizes the methodological tools he developed over a 40-year career. His culmination model, “Understanding History is Philosophy in Practice,” treats the past—including personal history—as an active tool for living wisely today. He employs “Thinking as Caring” (panser) as a procedural shield to protect human particularity from the “coldness of calculation” found in institutional systems that fail to recognize a decade of unpaid service and personal sacrifice.
This synthesis finds a historical parallel in the partnership of Jack McKinney and Judith Wright. Following McKinney’s death in 1966, Wright dedicated herself to his intellectual legacy, proving that human authorship over a shared reality can persist beyond the “posts of death”. Similarly, Dr. Buch’s ongoing commitment to the Contributory Economy and the mapping of Brisbane’s intellectual heritage serves as a form of “Methodological Tenderness”, tending to social and personal wounds through the active intervention of truth-telling.
Conclusion: Embracing the Ambition of Life
The history of missing Ruth is inextricably linked to the history of Dr. Buch’s scholarship. While the void of her non-existence remains “hard to deal with,” the MICE framework provides the horizon scope.
Featured Image: Ruth Elizabeth Buch 1961-2016
Neville Buch
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